it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
