I must be too annoying 4 u.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
