She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
