You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
