I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
