and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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