sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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