absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
