Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
