Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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