if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
