I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
