Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
