Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
