We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
