How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
