I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
