we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
