Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
