You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
