There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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