there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
And then my night got REAL pukey
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
