I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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