Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
porn star boner night. come get it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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