i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize