Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
