My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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