hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
