She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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