They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you didnt know i had herpes?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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