I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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