you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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