Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
