A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
