tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
