My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
