sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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