Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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