Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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