why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
