ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
