How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So many bounce houses so little time
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
