Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
