I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
