I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
