she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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