I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
