I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
