Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
