Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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