We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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